. Stay in Shape :
We want to be aroused by the sight of you being naked. People can argue
the pitfalls of the BMI scale all they want, but for the average Jane,
it works just fine. Men don’t want a bag of bones, nor do they want a
woman who looks like she is smuggling beach balls. I suggest 3-4 times a
week of cardio-esque activity. Regarding your diet…you do not need to
starve yourself; you do not need those greasy chips either.
. Lay Off the Body Modification :
Men gravitate to natural hair color, tasteful and coverable tattoos (if
any at all), and piercings that are not out of control and all over the
place.
. Make Your Own Money :
When it comes to money, men really couldn’t care less if you make a
whole lot, but you need to be making enough so that you are not a
financial drain on him. If you make more than him, more power to you,
just refrain from throwing it in his face like some form of
one-upmanship.
. Be Feminine :
Men want to date WOMEN, not men with vaginas.
. Be Submissive :
This kind of overlaps with being feminine. As much as the word has been
made into a negative, being submissive is a good thing, and it’s not
synonymous with being a door mat or that you have no voice in the
relationship. Seriously, heaven forbid you do a little back bending for
the sake of pleasing YOUR man because you want to keep him interested in
you. Personally I think feminism has turned relationships that are
supposed to be loving into their own little battlefields. Rub his back,
watch what he wants to watch, suck him off. A GOOD man will reciprocate,
and placate to the things you want and make sure you are also happy.
. Sex Life :
Men want a woman that has a healthy sex drive and few past sexual
partners. That means that you and your past boyfriend had a lot of sex.
It does not mean that you were the town bicycle. We get it, you want to
be able to sleep with the college football team and not be judged for it
the same way he ran through the cheerleading squad (insert “Master
Key/Shitty Lock” analogy). Life isn’t fair. Get used to it. The average
Joe will never see that many women anyway. Men also do not want a woman
that leverages sex as a way to get what she wants. That is a pretty good
indicator that she really is not all that interested in sex [with him]
in the first place.
. Be Intelligent :
No man wants a woman that cannot flex her mental muscles.
. Be Willing to Cook at Least Three Times a Week :
I wish I knew where things had taken a turn for the worst in terms of
women’s progress, but apparently the domestic ability of being able to
feed yourself without ordering takeout or putting some TV dinner in the
microwave has fallen by the wayside.
. Ease Up on the Makeup :
The less the better. It is bad enough that the makeup industry is a
multi-billion dollar industry that essentially tells women that they are
ugly. What is even worse is that half of you come out of the house
looking like Bozo the Clown. Maybe you should throw away the Maybelline,
and work with what you were born with.
. Smile :
Smiling makes a woman 10 times more attractive to a man because it
stimulates the sensory rewards circuit part of his brain. Smiles are
disarming, which puts him at ease, making him more comfortable in your
presence. Smiling will also make him think you like him (whether or not
you do) and we’re all attracted to those who like us. The whiter and
straighter the teeth, the more alluring; this being indicative of
healthy genetics, which human beings instinctively aim to pass along.
Smiling makes a person more approachable in general, so be sure to keep
up with those dentist appointments, brush regularly and for goodness
sake, don’t forget to floss!
. Wear Red :
The color red has been proven to enhance a man’s attraction to a
woman because it makes them appear more sexually desirable. That’s not
only exclusive to red form fitting clothes, but a red lip color as well.
It’s believed that a plump red lip mimics the widening of blood vessels
that occurs during sexual arousal- subconsciously reminding him of the
obvious. According to the study, men are completely oblivious to
the powerful effect that the flaming color has on their senses. The
study also showed that red in fact does not influence a woman’s
perception of the attractiveness of another woman, nor does it influence
men’s perception of a woman’s overall personality. Our advice here is
to keep it as subtle as possible. You don’t want to go overboard with
the color red, but using just the perfect shade for your complexion will
prove very impressive results. Another study also demonstrated the
same conclusion in primates; when some female primates are ready to
mate, her bottom will turn bright red.
. Hangout With Girlfriends :
Referred to as the cheerleader effect, A study at the University of
California determined that “individual faces will seem more attractive
when presented in a group because they will appear more similar to the
average group face, which is more attractive than group members’
individual faces.” If you missed that, it basically means that even if
you’re not the best looking of the bunch, when you’re with a group of
friends, you’ll automatically look even better than you usually do on
your own . The study tested this hypothesis in five different
experiments, where people rated the attractiveness of faces presented
both alone and in a group with the same gender, and results proved that
the individual received higher attractiveness ratings while in a group.
This means that the more he sees you with your girlfriends, the more
good looking you can appear.
. Heighten Your Voice :
In females, a higher pitched voice signifies youth and a smaller body.
It also subconsciously reminds men that women are the fairer and more
delicate sex, in need of providing and protecting by someone “stronger.”
Sorry, we just had to put that in quotations (the keyboard hasn’t quite
evolved to express eye-rolling as yet.) While a low and rich voice a la
Mariah Carey is definitely considered by men to be sexy, studies have shown that a higher and softer speaking voice a la Marilyn Monroe triggers his protective instincts, which really isn’t a bad thing.
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