1. Be honest :
There is no fancy way to do this. Just.
Be. Honest. If you’re into her, then tell her you’re into her. Don’t
play that
“I’m-trying-to-come-off-cool-and-macho-so-I’m-gonna-play-like-I’m-not-that-interested-so-she-falls-for-me”
crap. That shit’s lame. (And let me tell you, any girl that falls
into that passive-aggressive play is not in the right state of mind to
be in a serious relationship, especially with you.)
Stop it. If you’re not that into her, then just be honest! Let her know
you’re not as interested as she might be and spare her the run-around
of awkward texts you’re trying to avoid sending. Don’t be that guy.
Nobody likes that guy.
2. Don’t hide your habits :
We’re not idiots. Porn, cars, video games, beer, sports… It’s not that we have a problem with you liking these things… we have a problem with you trying to do these things behind our backs.
Don’t lie about what you’re doing or who you’re doing it with. Follow
the first tip. If she has a problem with what you’re doing, ask her why
instead of just finding an elaborate way to hide it from her the next
time you decide to do it. And to some of our “free-lookers” out there,
don’t feed that “you’re the most beautiful girl in the world” line to
your girl if you’re the guy that turns his head sideways every time you
see a girl walk past with tight jeans on. If you’re a “Barney Stinson”,
then own it and let her know. Bullshit begets bullshit, so keep it real.
If she doesn’t trust you, then there’s an element already missing in
your relationship that you might want to think/talk about.
…this brings me to the next tip on our list…
…this brings me to the next tip on our list…
3. *COMMUNICATE!*
This one gets the special asterisks because this one, I feel, is the MOST
important. I can’t stress this one enough. Men have this habit of
speaking through a series of grunts, sighs, head nods, or eyebrow raises
while their arms are folded over their chest listening to us talk. I’m
almost positive there’s not a man out there who enjoys listening to the words, “Are you even listening to me?!”
– But there’s a reason she’s asking, guys. We’re not inside your heads,
we don’t know what you’re thinking and if you are listening to us, a
lot of the times, you’re not showing us any indication it got through.
Silence isn’t the answer we want. We want a “yeah, I got you” or “no, I
don’t agree with you.” We know YOU don’t want to do anything that’ll
trigger “conversation overtime,” but if you didn’t agree with something
we said and you held it in… you’re gonna have the same discussion with
us again in the future. So save us both some time. Speak up.
4. Don’t be lazy :
No one’s
asking you to solve all the world’s problems and be superman, but at
least handle your shit. Take care of yourself, manage your money, be
responsible at work. Basic. Don’t expect a woman with a perfect body if
you have flaws of your own, don’t expect a woman to be independent and
make her own money when you don’t have your own, and don’t expect a
woman to “put out” for you when you ain’t got the moves yourself. Be who
you want to attract. No, she don’t want no scrub.
5. Show Your Appreciation :
So you might not be the best at
remembering birthdays or anniversaries, but there are other ways to show
you appreciate her. Sometimes, she can be wrapped up in the things that
are going on in her life and be so overwhelmed that her laundry’s
backed up, or the dishes haven’t gotten to… her dog has been cooped up
at the apartment… I’m not saying to become a “man-ny” for her, but doing
something as small as taking one item off her to-do list will make her
eternally grateful. Show her you appreciate her time by freeing it up
for her. By doing that, you’ve got more time to be together, she’s got
more energy and hey-oh. Bring on the wine.
6. Be Observant :
It amazes me to this day what little
details my husband can pick up from my daily nuances. He has a way of
knowing what I need at the end of the night because of things I’ve let
him know during the day about how it’s going. I have a pretty stressful
day job and most of the time my projects take a long time to complete,
so I don’t get to see immediate progress at the end of the day. One
night, I was particular stressed out because I felt like as much work as
I was putting in, I wasn’t seeing results soon enough. I came home to
my husband standing in the kitchen with paint cans, rollers and wine and
he told me to pick up a roller and go to town on the walls. Seeing the
colors I wanted (because he knows my favorite colors) take over
the walls and watching it happen instantaneously completely took away
that feeling of not seeing progress. Observe her lifestyle and see what
ways you can enrich it for her. It goes a long way.
7. Be Respectful :
We know you
have two sides. You have your “bro” side and you have your “boo” side.
We don’t mind either of them, but know when it’s appropriate to be one
or the other. Communicate with us before you bring us around your
friends. We know they might not always be the most “kosher” group. Some
girls are totally okay with vulgarity, sports talk and “guys being guys”
and some girls aren’t comfortable with it. Know which girl your girl is
before you bring out the “bro” and respect both sides, because your
friends don’t want to be pegged as assholes, either.
8. Support Her :
No. Not through your bank account. (If
she’s looking at you to support her financially without any interest of
accumulating her own source of income, it’s probably not the best
grounds to start a relationship.) Support her beliefs, her passion,
her ambitions… her goals. Be supportive of the things she decides to
pursue be it professionally or personally. Don’t diminish what dreams
she has even if they’re not reasonable to you.
Talk to her if you feel that way, but don’t discourage her. When you’re
in a relationship, you protect each other’s integrity, so don’t ever do
something that would harm her (or your) reputation— especially when
she’s trying to make a mark in her career. You’d want that from her,
right?
9. Listen :
This does not mean blankly stare at her until her jaw stops moving. “Hearing” is not the same as “listening.”
Yes, we as women like to talk a lot and sometimes, we can get carried
away, but if we’re taking the time out of our day to say anything at all
to you, there’s a reason. You might have different
standards than us as to what’s important or not, but if it’s important
to us, then it should be important to you. You want to keep us happy,
right? (Translation: you want us to stop talking, right?) Then listen to what we have to say no matter how irrelevant you think it is.
10. Be Romantic… At Least Once in a While :
I said once in a while. Don’t go breaking
the bank and trying to ball if you don’t got the guap. That’s just
ignorant. Some guys overdo it and some guys couldn’t be romantic if
their life depended on it. We’re not expecting puppies and diamonds
everyday (and if she is, sit her down and ask her very politely what her priorities are…).
We just want to feel desired. Romantic gestures don’t always have to be
big. They can be small and sweet. Randomly take her out to where you
first met and re-enact your first date on a night she’s feeling down.
Upload the newest album from one of her favorite artists on her playlist
while she’s away so it’s ready to listen to for her morning commute…
And yeah, once in a while, go big. Fill the house with candles and roses
and all that other sweet crap, and make it personal. She just wants to know you want her.
11. Make Love :
This can mean more than just sex. I say “make love” and I mean be intimate with her. Know her body, know her mind. Connect with her in a way that’s welcoming, inviting and embracing. Don’t just lock the door and say, “welcome to the jungle, bitch!” (At least not seriously, we all appreciate a good laugh.) Yes, we do like confidence. We like when you can show us your masculinity and that your hard work at the gym’s paid off. But so much of the time, we’re aware that you’re so conscious of trying to be a rock star in bed that you’re not really paying attention to the cues we’re giving you of what we want to feel. Sometimes, we’re shy about what we want, and sometimes, we don’t know what you want. It’s okay to tell us what you like and how you like it. It’ll give us that comfort to know that we can tell you what we want. Sex is supposed to be communicative, mutual, and reciprocating. If you’re in that mindset of “I’m getting mine, I hope you get yours,” then you’re missing out on a whole deeper level that you could both be enjoying a lot more. Don’t be afraid to explTHE LAWS OF KEEPING A WOMAN :
1) Never take a woman for granted or neglect her. The moment you do, she’ll start scanning the field and you won’t know it.
2) Do not cheat on her, or cheat her. A woman’s revenge could be emotionally lethal.
3)Do not boss her around, push her to do anything she doesn’t want to do, or force her to give you ANYTHING.
4) Do not expect her to wait on you hand and foot. She will take your foot and put it in your hand.
5) Be appreciative for all she does for you and show her appreciation for being in YOUR life. When you start acting like she should be happy she is in YOUR life, she will go out to prove you otherwise.
6) Never lay a hand on her, unless it is to caress her.
7) Never make her second to anything. This is the biggest mistake any man can do.
8) Don’t ever disrespect her or her family, even if she complains about them. It is OK for her to do it, but never for you. Remember this.
9) Always GIVE more than you take from her to stay a man in her eyes. When a woman has to support you, in her mind, you are her bitch.
10) Never treat a woman like a man, or she will treat you like a woman.
11) Be truthful to her always — even if it hurts. A woman respects a man of Truth and men that lie repeatedly will never be taken seriously — only playfully.
12) Women are like cats. Even when they play stupid, their radars are always perceptive and receptive to all that is happening around them. Do not play around your woman, or she will play you in the end.
13) Never be afraid to show a woman your emotions. Do not expect her to know how you feel if you don’t reveal anything. Never hold back on love. When a woman feels something is missing, or that you are not in the relationship 100%, she will seek a more complete love elsewhere. Believe it.
14) Support your woman’s dreams as if you were her number one fan and you will always be her number one man.
15) Push a woman to fulfill her passions, and she will always be passionate about you. Stay in tune with the developments of her hobbies and projects, and she will be in tune with you. Even if she loves designing tiny hats for squirrels, what you should love is the excitement from her eyes whenever you see her doing what she loves.
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